I could have stayed down

“The fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me” - Joshua Graham

Trauma is not an unusual experience in the human condition. It isn’t a special occurrence - it is common. I used to cling to mine as if it were my sole identity and I got my power from others feeling sorry for me.

I’ve spent about 60% of my life avoiding moving on…..avoiding simple feelings…avoiding self responsibility for how I perceived my experience. For how I interpreted my life.

It wasn’t until I started taking extreme responsibility for everything I had that moving forward and contributing could really happen.
I didn’t take the blame…..because all this isn’t about fault, blame, retribution……it’s about accountability- personal responsibility.

I had behaviors that I developed that were necessary to get to adulthood but once I arrived, I kept using these methods thinking I could have a different experience. I was judgmental——opinionated as hell (still have that opinion thing a going) mad at everyone…..thought I was smarter and beyond others.

It’s painful to realize that you are the common denominator in all your adult situations….It’s painful to realize your thought patterns create most every outcome before you. It’s painful to admit you are getting exactly what you desire.

But once you get through that phase, accountability is a beautiful thing.

I’ve dug into the depths of my behaviors…taken responsibility…..understood how my patterns developed and constantly pay attention to my language, verbal and body. As my girlfriend says….I am the most emotional/ non-emotional person she knows.

It’s this mechanistic thinking…. a desire to solve problems…..a call to serve humanity…..a passion for other folks to gain some space in their lives so they too can contribute that burns brighter than ever in me.

I am unapologetically direct….unapologetically driven to do my part in changing the paradigms we have set up to separate and divide our people. I burn to collaborate with colleagues so that we may reach all the nooks and crannies and lift others up…to give them a chance to take responsibility for their lives. I ache to see us all on the same page to protect our environments so that we may all share resources and not compete.

I’m doing it through coaching boxing and Functional Patterns…….

I have found my reasons to

#BoxOn!