There are some days that discomfort is immense.  Walking around wanting out of this skin, wanting to be anywhere but right here facing every dysfunction we have in our life.  There are some days where the timing is off.  Every activity is short or longer in exponential minutes.  Sit in the pocket as often and long as you happen.  Sit there growing space between you and the stimuli.  The vortex of sound, clear as the train blaring in the night……the slow-motion scene unfolding in front of your eyes as if watching a perfectly concocted by a movie director.  Let all that happen.

Our answers sit in that pocket, revealing themselves in milliseconds of potential action.  Feel every single pull of fight-flight and freeze and stay right wind blowing so fierce you want to close your eyes.

A couple of years ago I did a 30 day experiment.  I had to train 30 consecutive days no matter what……absolutely no excuse, no circumstance could alter training every day.  The 30 days was going to be my constant….the place my measurements would be produced.  Each day I trained I logged how I felt before and after training…..

I learned to connect my mind and body to gain awareness rather than live in an enculturated state making decisions based on the external.  I learned what was true fatigue versus a lack of desire to deal with disquiet.  I learned to train for something in me and not for the visage.

Being uncomfortable is a skill-  one that boxer’s have to hone and perfect.  One that people should be compelled to improve in daily life.

#BoxOn!

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Insights-4

Intentful speaking is extremely important to me.  I am constantly listening to my word choices and evaluating if what I’m saying is what I mean.  And if not, why?

Last year I heard myself saying “I’ll let you do that” to folks and I heard others say it to me.  I started thinking of the implications……To let someone do something is to say you have the power….you are giving them permission……allowing…..

So, was that really the case in each instance I used the phrase?  Or was it my way of passively and subliminally controlling the situation?

It may not seem like much but our words reveal our subconscious thoughts and intentions……..

Lately I’m paying attention to the use of any phrase that starts with “I”

There’s nothing wrong with using “I”, It’s that I want to know if I’m intending to put the focus on myself or am I intending for the focus to be on the person I am speaking to.

When coaching, these subtleties matter.  Our word choices matter.  Being aware of our thoughts, our body language and choices really matter.

My job as a coach and as a business owner is to do the work myself first.  To learn, to lead by example….to fail, succeed, and stay curious.  It’s my role to bring about awareness and give others the opportunity to see clearly their intent.

Boxing is a very intentful sport….I want to honor it when I’m not in the ring.  I want each coach at our gym to honor the honesty of the sport.  We all pay attention to our human tendencies.  The need for attention, control, belonging, etc…..All those needs influence our interactions.  They influence the stories we tell and the way we tell them.  If we aren’t aware, we can create a very ego driven facade that doesn’t reveal truth until a moment of radical exposure.

When you get in the ring, you will be immediately exposed…..In life, it’s a little more subtle and it takes a little longer to have to face the mirror.

One thing I can assure you is that Arcaro will continue to strive to be a community leader in understanding, whether it be through, verbal skills, thoughts, body mechanics….whatever…..

We will operate purposefully and that is through all realms of being human.

#BoxOn!

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To fix or not to fix

Trying to “fix” things causes a lot of tension.

Trying to “avoid” things causes a lot of tension.
“Trying” causes a lot of tension.
If we use our dysfunctions, our bad habits, our faults, to learn and grow into, we will change our patterns and habits much easier.
If a person is hunched over in their boxing stance we cannot just tell them or make them straighten up and skip all the steps in between hunching and standing upright.  We can’t skip all the identities in the changing postures.  It’s complex….there are many muscles involved….many habits ingrained.  Many, many patterns that we established because we thought it was right or because we needed to compensate.
We have to start with the “hunched” over state and slowly strengthen from there to the straightened state.  We have to go above and below the problem area to address it.  We have to do it from interest and not from trying to get away or avoid it.
We need to lean into our dislike of ourself……to lean into what we currently are and not keep staring at what we think we want to be.
The more we meet ourselves where we are at, the more we can actively move to the next place with the right kind of tension and get the changes to stick.
#BoxOn
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Insights-3

When I was a junior in high school I had a basketball coach who told me the reason I couldn’t move laterally was because I weighed too much.  He then told my dad to enlist me in a diet program to lose weight.  Needless to say I was mortified.  I wasn’t confident at the time, or I might have told him to f**k off.  I instead believed both of them and started on my course at Diet Center.

I carried with me for years that I couldn’t move laterally…..Their perception became my reality.  Perception is powerful.

Perception affects our vision, our emotions, our beliefs, our reality.  The best combatant to askew perception?

CONNECT THE BODY!

What none of us knew back then was how my being quad and calf dominant inhibited my ability to propel myself laterally.  I was unable to rotate in my torso and I was locked into mostly forward motions.  I never drove down the baseline, squared up and hit jumpers…..I couldn’t stop my momentum, and post up without inefficiency.  I was mostly a passer or a shooter from the outside when already planted well.  My defense was terrible and I was often pulled out of games that were close because we needed to shut down a shooter.

When your body is a tensegrity unit, you understand exactly where you are in space.  You have an accurate proprioception and can change directions seamlessly.  For example, Barry Sanders!  Watch how connected he is when he moves and changes directions.  When you are connected inside your body, confidence is incredible.  You know what you can do and you feel accurate, clean and efficient in your movements.

I am now beginning to move laterally without the “heavy” feeling in my hips and legs.  Functional Patterns works to build tensegrity in the body.

Come train with us, learn how it feels to use your natural sling systems when you punch and move!  I guarantee you will want to continue to…….

#BoxOn!

 

 

#BoxOn

 

 

 

 

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Truth in the ropes

In the ring is where only the truth is told.  There isn’t room for in between.  Only direct engagement allowed.  You aren’t too bold, brash or honest-  Little silent moments as fists exchange, revealing what is in between the lines.  Your fears and the overcoming of them witnessed by a vicarious audience judging you for what they do not wish to face.

I love the canvas, the smooth connection underneath unsteady feet- reminding us how easy it is to succumb and hide if we aren’t willing to risk.  We must use our advantages to dismantle another and ultimately dismantle ourselves.

The truth is my favorite place to live because of it’s simplicity.  It’s forgiveness and ability to change if honored consistently.  The truth gives us freedom from imaginary binds oozing our inauthenticity.

In the ring, we learn to love the weakness because it shows us how to sturdily stand in the face of all that is incoming.  The lessons are many and they burrow in deep making neurological changes in our bodies that last.  The truth, the ring, a beautiful fight.

#BoxOn!

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Accountability

To truly hold oneself accountable is a major task.

I see a million places I let myself off the hook.  Where I’m so lazy and not wanting to do the work.

Accountability is being brutally honest-  It’s having standards beyond the standards you think you have.  Accountability is grabbing yourself by the shirt collar, looking yourself in the eyes and asking if what you are doing is honest and true.

I notice as I work with clients 1:1 all the places I want to take a break.  I was a little irritated with myself as I realized all the “fillers” I use to rest, to disengage.  I might put someone on the speed bag, or have them jump rope-  or a whole host of exercises where I  don’t pay attention to their form or engage with them.

So today, I held myself accountable to a new degree-  I realized I was going to send a client off to do something without meaning to me at the time and I stopped, made myself stay present and not take that rest.

They pay good money to work with me, they expect results and the only way we will get them is if both of us are engaged for the entire time we train.

Accountability is being annoyed with one’s output and making a change.

#BoxOn!

 

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BoxOn!

I train human beings-  all kinds of human beings.  Sizes, shapes, backgrounds, heritage-  It doesn’t matter to me…..I am interested in how their story is unfolding and how I can make their life experience that much sweeter. How I can help them bring a voice to their experience.

I believe in humanity- the ugly and the pretty.  You can come off the street or from your penthouse and anywhere in between, because inside this gym, we are all equalized by the discomfort of training.  We are all equalized by all that haunts us coming to the surface with each sweat bead.

I believe in everyone’s right to express what lies in waiting.  In what has been hidden in the depths of living by a society’s stifling standards.  I believe in the accountability that comes with that expression.  That no one makes you feel the way you do but you.

I believe in the power to #BoxOn!

 

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CONFLICT AND SPARRING

Sparring is a perfect metaphor for conflict.  You are duking it out with a cohort because you both are working to obtain similar things.  Sometimes you stay calm, other times you escalate.  You both want better skills, success, and self-efficacy.

In sparring, it is to be better, to have weaknesses exposed so they can be addressed.  That’s the hardest thing to remember in the moment……..we don’t like feeling weak and associate it with thoughts of ineptness.  But, what better way to gain strength than to go into ones fragility open eyed and welcoming?  It’s a great exploration.

In life, conflict with a comrade is typically about wanting the same thing, each with a different method. We all want our voices heard, our opinions to matter.  We all want to feel important and to belong.

We just get a little hung up in how we measure up and against others.  We forget that humanity is inclusive……we all evolved to walk this earth and accomplish survival.

You can get better at conflict before, during and after.  You can improve your skills in the heat of the situation.  You just have to be willing to hear hard truths, to be wrong, to be open to other avenues and you have to be willing to be supremely uncomfortable.

#BoxOn!

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Insights-2

1989-  Nursing home work-  Wheatridge, Colorado.

Typical 3pm-11pm shift-  Fluorescent bulbs evenly lighting each floor tile as I head into the routine of baths, dinner and bed.  I’m surrounded by greatness not remembered.  Interment camp survivors, an interpreter from the Nuremberg trials, plus a host of other folks 60+ in years who have plenty of tales to tell.

It is here that I begin to realize the past is truly the past.  What you have done isn’t remembered as you hope.  I mean, c’mon,  a translator during the trials of folks who committed horrendous acts in civilization and here he is being forgotten with a stroke and unable to speak.  It seemed a cruel joke, but now, it is motivation to make each moment count.

It’s simple in boxing.  You live 3 minutes at a time….each punch jolting you present and no time to lament about what previously happened.  No time to celebrate your sweet move.  There is here and now……

Of course you take in patterns and those help you as you maneuver through the round, but those are fleeting and passing moments.

Nurse aid work taught me how nothing and everything matters at the same time and boxing continues to reiterate this lesson.

#BoxOn!

 

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Insight -1

When I was 17 years old, I was living in Denver, CO and going to Lakewood HighSchool.  I had a job at Dairy Queen but needed to make more money to pay for groceries, pay for gas money and other general needs.

My father suggested I try the nursing home down the street, so I did.

It was 1988 and no certifications existed.  I didn’t know a thing about catheter bags, patient care, proper bed making or how to shower and feed those in need.  My training consisted of getting onto the nursing home floor and getting it done.  A few older ladies took me under their wing, calling me “child” and correcting my mistakes.

Deeply insecure in my body, there I was up close and personal to other bodies.  Lifting, maneuvering heavy unrelenting dead weight from bed to chair and back again.  Using my body to leverage theirs gave me no choice but to deal with my discomfort.  The desire to pull away was overridden by the fear of dropping someone.  I had to push in close…to allow their head to be beside mine.  It was an intimate affair filled dignity and respect.

I learned about humans….human interaction, empathy, life, death and the after.  It was the most intense university I ever attended.  This work prepared me to be the coach I am today and I forever carry the experience in every moment of this gym.

#BoxOn!

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