I’m interested in language and intent. Interested in word usage and the meanings we choose from the words we use. It’s important to me how we interact and how we take responsibility for our thoughts and verbiage. We are in a world becoming increasingly unaware of the original meanings of words and we are losing the ability to have intelligent, well intentioned conversations, especially when there is disagreement. As we become more disconnected from one another, we disconnect our brains from our bodies.
“I’m just asking”
When using the word “just”- often times, one is defensive, has other intent than “just asking”, is feeling insecure and a whole host of other things. We use the word as a way to justify our existence….to say we are righteous in our meanings and that the other person has done us wrong. We use it to explain why we have the right to ask versus truly asking a question that has a singular intent. In other words, our intent is mixed. We have meanings underneath the reasons for our questions that we aren’t being truthful about.
“I accidentally bumped into you”
To me, this phrase is loaded with lack of taking responsibility. If one truly wishes to be extensional to another….the phrase might go something like, “I bumped into and really affected your balance”…….”I’m rushing around and not paying attention and bumped into you”……etc…..etc…..etc…
Language and communication is complicated and loaded most of the time….it takes due diligence to speak with authentic and clean meanings. It takes practice being able to listen to oneself while speaking.
In the ring, punches can also have mixed intent….We can punch from our bad day that might not have anything to do with our sparring partner…..we can punch from our anger at the kind of childhood we experienced……this too has nothing to do with our sparring partner. I prefer “clean” sparring. Sparring that is an honest dialogue of interest, curiosity and skill building.
I also prefer “clean” sparring in conversation. The more of it, the more we will be in the same stable going for similar extensional accomplishments.