Sometimes I open up my computer with so much to say and no words will come out. They are stuck somewhere I can’t even identify. It’s like I have all these ideas and a burning desire to share them but I can’t organize them in an understandable way. They are jagged- a little harsh to say and I have to find a kinder way so the message can be received.
This blog is dedicated to Andrew. He will probably never read this but I want somehow for him to know that our 3 minute interaction deeply impacted me as we walked down Broadway in the freezing cold yesterday.
I’m tired of a societal paradigm that values money over people. I’m tired of feeling the futility of how big our world has become. We don’t operate in smaller more sustainable tribes that would allow us to truly care for the other. The only green we look after is monetary.
I am trying via the gym to create a boundaried, top notch staff that holds space for accountability- gives room for intensive growth- A place where not only those that enter our walls but those who pass by can feel the work it takes to show up and be accountable. A place where we work hard on ourselves so that we can make a bigger change in the greater community. I’m not trying to create a group of followers but a group of autonomous folks that value humanity.
The only like mindedness I embrace in our gym community is exercised through values of truth- facing one’s discomforts- integrity- acknowledgement of self hypocrisy- expression – accountability.
Ever since kid hood I have been for the underdog- an advocate for nature- an advocate for the sad and lost in all our forms. I have been a beacon for switching from a victim mentality to one of self-efficacy and intense self scrutiny.
Because the common denominator in every situation you encounter is you!
As a coach, I believe in being very personable, but not one who confuses being personal… a strong listener and one who can lead by example….
because when I first started coaching I was not at all boundaried.
I needed attention and to be liked. I needed to feel important- to be the best. I needed approval….and all these things drove the interactions I had with gym members. I could not coach them cleanly and needed them to feel effective.
When I started this gym, I kidded myself into thinking I could accomplish something never accomplished before. But I was just lying to myself- it was a justification for covering up my insecurities. As conflicts arose from the lack of clear lines, I became more educated in my driving intents. It’s what I imagine some parents experience raising children.
I wanted different situations- not to repeat the same ones- so I had to keep growing up and changing. I still do.
Now I have a full fledged 5 year old gym. When you walk in, what you feel is the work it takes to take oneself on- you feel what it means to be tired and have to show up anyway. You feel the pain and joy of change. You feel what it means to have empathy but not to tolerate anything less than the cleanest intent humanly possible. You feel what it means to have empathy but not to feel sorry for…
And you feel the desire to