I don’t spar very much these days so I have to get my testing in daily life via conflicts or intense situations to see how much of my training holds together.
This morning while driving to the gym I was driving in a moving lane going about 35-40 while the lane on my left was at a complete stop. Suddenly from that complete stop a car jutted out diagonally into my lane. I hit the brakes and veered to the right narrowly navigating between the car and the retaining wall on my right. I came within a few inches of both. I handled the immediate moment well but afterwards I was furious and felt like leaping out of the car and annihilating the person. That feeling stayed with me for about 3-4 minutes. Complete adrenaline and shaking and loss of emotional control.
As I reflect, I’m pleased with my ability to stay present, calm and focused during the duress but am completely disappointed with the aftermath. My structure and focus fell apart after and I could imagine if it was the ring that might mean I would have inconsistent rounds………
That’s not good enough for me. It’s not that I expect to stay entirely calm, but I do expect to feel containment of my energy….to not have it spill out all over the place in some disconnected mess that keeps me from effective engagement.
I think of animals that go from being hunted to then calmly grazing in a field. They contain their energy in each moment and that is key to their survival.
In conflict, in situations like traffic and other daily activities, I know it’s not necessarily key to my survival immediately, but long term it is because each and every chemical reaction within me affects my structure, it affects my movement and competence. I’d like to operate at a high efficiency level for as long as I can.