Trying to “fix” things causes a lot of tension.
Trying to “avoid” things causes a lot of tension.
“Trying” causes a lot of tension.
If we use our dysfunctions, our bad habits, our faults, to learn and grow into, we will change our patterns and habits much easier.
If a person is hunched over in their boxing stance we cannot just tell them or make them straighten up and skip all the steps in between hunching and standing upright. We can’t skip all the identities in the changing postures. It’s complex….there are many muscles involved….many habits ingrained. Many, many patterns that we established because we thought it was right or because we needed to compensate.
We have to start with the “hunched” over state and slowly strengthen from there to the straightened state. We have to go above and below the problem area to address it. We have to do it from interest and not from trying to get away or avoid it.
We need to lean into our dislike of ourself……to lean into what we currently are and not keep staring at what we think we want to be.
The more we meet ourselves where we are at, the more we can actively move to the next place with the right kind of tension and get the changes to stick.