Life is a major experiment. You can decide to be your own scientist or you can give in to the social constructs set up for masses to follow.
I know that my lens is stained with the environments that I inhabit so I take with a grain of salt the “truths” that I find.
We seem to be backwards in our daily life because we avoid the things we don’t like about ourselves. We try to squash and annihilate the behaviors we feel shame in. We pretend they don’t exist. But in sport we drill over and over the skills we are poor at. We perfect the little nuances that are inhibiting us from success.
Why the difference? This I do not know, but I do know it is a giant disservice to humankind to not embrace our follies.
These past few weeks I’ve been picking myself apart and it’s really fun. The first week I searched for everywhere I am a hypocrite. The places that my beliefs are only circumstantially true. It was illuminating to say the least. The awareness gave me the ability to make more conscious choices. I can choose hypocrisy or I can choose to put myself in alignment.
The second week I looked at everywhere I was lazy. I saw myself barking instructions from outside the ropes and whether or not the person understood or not, I still parked my ass outside instead of stepping through the ropes and showing them. So, so lazy. There were countless places I refused to “step through the ropes.” I’m so glad for this metaphor because I now just tell myself to step through the ropes and it is unreal the workload I was able to add to what I already accomplish.
Lastly I decided to take on my relationship to eating. I started by fasting Monday and Tuesday 8 hours, then Wednesday and Thursday 10 hours then Friday 12 hours and finally a full blown fast Saturday and Sunday with only water and some Kombucha as my intake. What resulted was a whole lot of awareness of how much I mindlessly consume food. I already knew that I eat far to fast and far too big of portions than my body needs, but the desire to fill the spaces with consumption was enlightening. Monday I began practicing smaller portions, eating smaller amounts and paying attention to the need to fill in the space. I loved this experiment. It was uncomfortable, it took discipline and I got to know my behaviors a bit better.
I wish to live each day with the utmost intention. I wish not to leave of legacy of me, but to leave a legacy of a way of living. I don’t need to be remembered for a day or a year after I pass. If this very deliberate way of living is passed on, then that will be a measure of my success beyond my life.