As coaches, we find our depths and get to know them so that we are able to better guide others in finding theirs. We sit in our depths with curiosity so that we can clean out as much judgement as possible in order to see more clearly We get to know these parts of ourselves because we know that they drive our thoughts and actions and get in the way of efficiency.
A boxer must know the times they don’t feel as powerful…..know the times they feel inept and know the times that they don’t think they’ll ever get better. It is in these times they can find their strength. It is here that a coach must sit more comfortably in their discomfort and get to the truth so the boxer can obtain clarity.
We are conditioned to pretend we are always ok, when in truth, none of us are. We are conditioned to never show “weakness” and to always seem on top and in control. I find that mindset quite contrary to being successful. It is relieving and honest to know and express where you are falling down. To allow it room to exist will lead to room for increased strengthening and growth.
A client sent me a blog on self-care and it resonated with me because of my beliefs echoed above. Below is an excerpt from the blog.
It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.
It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.
It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it. –
Our depths are not to be avoided, hated, disdained. Our depths are where the gold lies.