I’ve been thinking about the concept of mistakes lately.
Google dictionary gives us these definitions of mistake:
|error, fault, inaccuracy, omission, slip, blunder, miscalculation, misunderstanding, oversight, misinterpretation, gaffe, faux pas, solecism|
It seems that the word is heavily interpreted in the error and fault realm meaning that there is a correct and/or right way to be. But honestly if it weren’t for all of my miscalculations, blunders and misinterpretations, I wouldn’t be an 1/8 of the person that I am. I need my mistakes. I need to experience the embarrassment of my oversights because those experiences will serve me well when I am in future situations.
I’m bullheaded, stubborn and tenacious, sometimes contributing to extra occurrences of faux pas. I’m often exposing my own double standards and learning about how I don’t live up to my own expectations. But if I judge these behaviors then I’ll never learn and grow, so I am discovering how to observe my actions more openly….to work on being less annoyed at myself, to feel how to be kinder and more patient as I work through hard scenarios. We all live in the realm of hypocrisy daily and it’s the exploration of this that makes us more caring and contributing to society.
I’m currently learning what it’s like to have coaches, to manage my own reactions and others. I am currently learning what it means to truly be a community hub that makes room for sloppiness but doesn’t let it infiltrate and take over.
I have had a very sloppy life, so I know the allure of the drama, the excitement in the adrenaline constantly surging through. I am learning what it takes to be a consistent coach with malleable boundaries that don’t shove away or get obliterated. As I learn to operate at a more mature level, I am going to experience what seem to be setbacks and I’m going to have to learn to get a little less pissed off at myself- Because, it is this process that is leadership, this step by step that will allow the gym to stay a place of healing for myself and others…..It will be the mistakes I make and the forgiveness for myself and from others that will carry me into my aging process grateful, happy and contributing to my community. It will be this that allows me to continue to coach champions in and out of the ring.