This week I’ve given 2 talks on Conflict. One at John Muir elementary to the teachers and administrative staff and the other at Starbucks headquarters at a coffee tasting meeting. It’s been fun, invigorating and its inspired me to share some of what’s going on round here regarding conflict.
My job is in fact to prepare people to go into conflict present, calm and able to execute their practiced skill. It’s fun to talk about conflict because I can attest to the positive outcomes I have gotten out of being more aware before, during and after conflicts.
Lately I’ve been working with two non competitive boxers using boxing to prepare them for conflicts in their daily lives. They are both having positive outcomes and better handling of uncomfortable situations.
Boxing teaches you how to confidently take your stance, to stay calm under pressure, to personally physicalize your experience and reduce overall stress. Both boxers are actualizing successes. They are seeing patterns in themselves and others more clearly. Physicalizing their experiences keeps them in the moment, makes them better aware and more capable to respond with clear intent.
Conflict is inevitable and if you want to minimize the times you totally lose your ish……then follow these few steps……
- NOTICE WHEN YOU FIGHT YOUR FIGHT IN YOUR HEAD: Become aware of when you are anticipating and scripting your interaction before it happens.
- PHYSICALIZE YOUR ANTICIPATION: When you notice you’re thinking about your future conflict, stop, check into your body, take stock of any and all physical sensations. Physical=present
- YOU’RE PROBABLY REALLY ON THE SAME TEAM- All parties involved most likely want to be heard and have quick resolution. You want similar experiences and outcomes. You are more likely to slow down and be more present if you keep in mind you’re in this together.
- PHYSICALIZE YOUR EXPERIENCE WHILE IN CONFLICT- The more you are active and present in your body, the less likely Flight-Fight – or Freeze will rule your actions. Be aware of the physical sensations you are having and you will most likely be able to be more engaged in the moment.
Until your next conflict, #BoxOn!