Our world is more and more being exposed for how we are ill equipped to handle discomfort. Discomfort is something boxers have long known about. In life you can hang up the phone, turn the tv off, put your headphones in, name call, and use a host of other avoidance tactics. These tactics might work for a long time in daily life, but you will be doomed to repeat similar situations over and over if you continue unaware.
In the containment of the ring, facing truth exists. If you run, there is quickly a rope, a corner or another boxer to stop you. You have to face discomfort. There is something magical about facing your fears so head on, about exposing yourself to so many on lookers, to yourself. The ring is somewhat kind though…..it gives you intervals to take things on. For 3 minutes you’re under the gun and for 1 minute you rest, and have the opportunity to receive guidance from someone who has practiced with you. You then have the opportunity to immediately make adjustments.
Imagine in your daily life, if you could have an argument/conflict and set the timer for 3 minutes, then take a 1 minute break, go to a friend and get advice on how you were handling yourself. Pretty cool idea!
Well, you can kind of create that environment for yourself and here’s how……
- Listen! Listen to yourself and listen to the other person.
- Slow down. The conflict does not need to end immediately.
- Stay uncomfortable- allow them to finish a sentence before you counter.
- Feel the urge to use “low blow” tactics and keep them to yourself. Your thoughts will reveal more to you about your own hurt if you don’t try to hurt another.
Arguments and conflicts are like training. They push you to your discomfort limits. They let you experience your range of calm to losing it. It’s the space in between those ranges that you can get stronger. It’s the space between you and the other person that allows for you both to validly exist. It’s the space in your mind when you listen that allows you to be in your own corner…..it allows you to have that 1 minute break while you are in conflict.
The space you create for yourself also allows you to know what your limitations are, when maybe taking on something isn’t what is needed. You can get a break without resorting to sneaky tactics to get the break. You can simply ask for what you need when you learn to be in your own corner.
Until next time…