It is sooooo hard to be in learning mode, to be interested in what you are doing. In our culture we are so fixated on tangible objects, objectives and outcomes. We talk about the process but really revel in the success of our outcomes and feel despondent when we experience failure.
Failure is simply not meeting your intended objective. Success is when you meet it. Either way, they are both experiences to learn and grow through. Success means you move on to other skills to develop and failure means you still need development in your current skills set or you need to rethink how and what you are developing. I like giving over more to the mindset of learning mode because it’s all about being in motion, flow and being in the moment. It’s like being in the ring all the time.
I remember what it felt like to be constantly worried about my success and failure, to obsessively worry about how I thought others perceived me. I was tense and defensive all the time. It was difficult to get better skills. It was hard to hear feedback without feeling bad. I felt angrier and tight.
Now, being in learning mode is more of an adventure. It is more relaxing and fun and I get better at difficult skills quicker. I am more open to hearing others and I receive way more helpful information.
It doesn’t take losing to learn. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable, to be open, to be interested. A lot of times after we lose we think we learn more because we don’t want to feel what it’s like to lose. Conversely, we tend to not learn when we win, because we like how it feels when we succeed. I believe if you train yourself for being in a constant state of learning, then you can learn the same amount from successes and failures. After all, it’s all pretty interesting and rewarding when you are present and engaged!