Lately I’ve been checking out posts by Brendon Burchard. He recently posted about “The Four Horseman of Self-Awareness”
I’d like to address some of his talk/post
Detachment from any feeling, emotion or even sometimes expectation to the day. It’s not feeling anything or allowing yourself to feel things even when they are good.–Burchard
Like boxing has ranges, so do our emotions. If you get really good at blocking perceived negative emotions, your skill will also help you to block out perceived positive emotions. You cannot have one end without the other. When I block out negative emotions, I definitely neglect to notice any of the positives going on throughout my day. It’s like I get obsessed with everything I am lacking. And rest assured, the negative emotions come spilling out in all kinds of sloppy ways. I become instant jerk.
I see it in my boxers’ sparring sessions. The aren’t open to being hit. They are tense and blocking the punches. I don’t mean that I want them to willingly get hit with clean punches all the time. I just want them open and willing to accept they will be hit. When they are more open to being hit, they relax and tend to make their partner miss more and they tend to connect their punches more frequently. It’s ok to make mistakes and learn when they are more open to being hit.
Disassociating ourselves and identities with situation. Not just detaching from things, but going through experiences of our lives and saying, “That’s not me.” …..”Well, the real me wouldn’t do that.” -Burchard
It is incredibly important to learn to accept who we are at all times. Not just the parts we approve of or like. If I am a jerk in the moment, that is part of who I am. It’s because of my meltdowns and jerk behaviours that alert me to more awareness about myself. It is handling the discomfort that I am sometimes an unpleasant person with childish reactions just as much as I am a calm and patient coach. When I take responsibility for my actions, I learn how they affect me, where they come from and how I affect others. It gives me a more complete experience.
My boxers sometimes come out of the ring and take away their experience by saying, “that isn’t how I box, I’m tired, I had a rough day, I’ll do better next time.” But the fact was, they boxed exactly as they were and it’s better to take responsibility for being who you are in the moment. It’s impossible to not express yourself for exactly who you are when you spar. All your fears, your confidences, doubts, everything is exposed. I want them to be able to learn in every situation, because you never know how you will feel on fight day. You never know how your opponent will or won’t affect your beliefs about yourself. If you stay present and aware of your actions and are open to how you show up each moment, you will be prepared for all occasions presented to you. You will have more choices in the future on how you respond to similar situations.