“Understand the voice within and feel a change already begin. How many words have I got to say and how many times will it be this way?………..With your arms around the future and your back up against the past….” –The Moody Blues
You spend a lot of solitary time on boxing trips. A lot of time for reflection and recalling stories of your life. A lot of time imagining the future. There is a ton of down time in between workouts, making weight, weighing in and watching fights. I used to hate this time because of being used to busyness in my life. It was hard to slow down and deal with nothing to do. It was difficult to be alone with all my thoughts and memories.
I am really learning how to use this time to slow down, take stock of where I am at and what I am doing. I’m becoming more aware of my thoughts and how they contribute to my experiences and actions- how they affect my interactions with people around me. I am using this time to reflect upon my accomplishments and unfinished business and deciding what I can do about it now. I am finding out what I need to change to go somewhere new and uncomfortable so I can keep uncovering my skills and the ability to share with others.
“Our reflection of action occurs in different contexts which may influence us to shape our accounts in different ways for different audiences – our colleagues, supervisor, trainers or examiners. We story our lives in ways that give human meaning and purpose to our endeavors, and these stories in turn shape and guide our future actions.”
― Jacqui Stedmon
I also use this time to hear the stories I tell over and over again. To hear how I tell them, who I tell them to and if the way I tell them cements me into the same habits over and over again. Or do I tell them in a way that can give me a new perspective. To see if I tell them in a manner that is uncovering new possibilities that can alter my future and others experiences with me. I use this time to see if what I am doing is what I want more or less of…….
A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.
The past got me here. Without it and all my stories I wouldn’t know what I have done thus far and it would be difficult to develop vision for goals ahead. But, I want something more from my stories and past. I want to truly let them go. To let them go by honoring the skills I’ve developed because of all my colorful experiences. I want to honor my past by letting the stories I tell have a different meaning, a moving energy versus a stagnant energy. I want my stories to set me free from the feeling I have to tell them a certain way for a specific response from others…….I want my stories to release me into this powerful moment because without my stories, my heritage and my roots, I have no leverage.
I want more and more leverage, because that feeling comes from deep in the core and can never be taken away once you feel it.
I use these boxing trips to cultivate my leverage so when I return home, I can share what I’ve learned with my boxers and shed some light into their leverage capabilities. I find my familiar stories, tell them and hear how they can be told differently. To see what I am hanging on to and to see how I can let go………because letting go is really the ultimate feeling in the ring and life.