I like to do awareness work and discover myself at a deeper level. I have always been driven to know myself and figure out how I tick. It’s why I box and why I love to share boxing. I want others to have an avenue to get to know themselves while they get fit and experience expression.
I am constantly blogging and talking about ways I go about learning and I’m always sharing on facebook different concepts I like and believe. I am rarely perfect at implementing all the ideas I believe in, though I do have my successes. Occasionally someone will call me out and say, “I thought you were so Zen.” But no, not really. I am a human being. A boxer, a coach with feelings, successes and failures. I have a temper, I get pissed off….hell, it’s why I found boxing in the first place.
While many life experiences and interactions are really unpleasant and uncomfortable, I do appreciate them all. The ones where I lose my temper and I am the furthest from practicing any of the concepts I like are usually most helpful.
It’s like being in the ring against someone’s style you have a hard time with. You learn where you are off balance, where your skills are lacking. If you don’t get these types of people to go up against, you won’t know where you are at in the big picture. I get nothing out of complacency or just doing things I am good at. So, I embrace all my experiences, though sometimes begrudgingly.
There does come a time when you are repeating a pattern over and over again that you have to ask yourself what the hell is going on? If you keep stepping to the left and getting hit by a punch, why do you keep stepping to the left? Is there another way to step to the left, is there another direction to step? Is there an entirely different reason you are getting nailed that has nothing to do with stepping to the left?
The whole reason to keep doing the same pattern is to learn, to ask questions. In boxing, it’s sweet. You have a sparring partner who is committed to learning about their patterns and skills at the same time you are. They will keep blasting you if you make the same error and they will respect you for figuring it out by finding another way to get you again. If you are lucky in daily life, you will experience the same thing. I’m in this pattern repeating place right now, looking for a different way to go about it and hoping that my sparring partners in daily life are too.